


message received //phan

by admiringphil



Category: Amazingphil - Fandom, Dan Howell - Fandom, Phan, Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF), Phil Lester - Fandom, dan and phil
Genre: Amazingphil - Freeform, DAN AND PHIL - Freeform, Dan Howell - Freeform, Fanfic, Fanfiction, Gay, Instagram, LGBT, LGBTQ, M/M, Phan - Freeform, Sad, Social Media, Texting, YouTube, dnp, phanfic, text
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-14
Updated: 2018-10-14
Packaged: 2019-08-02 04:41:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 26
Words: 5,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16298357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/admiringphil/pseuds/admiringphil
Summary: + an unpopular brown-eyed boy connects with a lonely blue-eyed boy.





	1. Chapter 1

dan sighed as he plopped himself down onto his sofa, pulling his phone out of his front pocket after doing so. he was unexpectedly greeted by three new instagram notifications.

he squinted his eyes in confusion as he unlocked his phone- he didn't receive a lot of notifications apart from those from his parents or his one friend, chris. what was most confusing though, was that the notifications came from instagram. dan was least popular on this platform. he had about 30 followers and his posts never got more than 5 likes- which didn't bother him much, because he didn't expect a lot to begin with.

he looked into the notifications;

now he was even more confused.

he had no idea who this person was. how did they find his profile and why did they like his posts- and then follow him?

he tapped on the person's username;

     

dan was instantly taken aback. this person had almost four thousand followers and had somehow found dan's sad account and decided to follow him?

he scrolled through the account, looking into the pictures that he had posted. he looked at his pictures and read every word of his silly captions. he got an overwhelmingly positive vibe from his profile, and he was intrigued.

eventually he found himself still staring at different pictures of this person nearly an hour later. he concluded that he thought that this boy was something good.

looking at his pictures brought on unsolicited feelings that caused his heartbeat to quicken, and he didn't understand why- considering the fact that dan had only just recently become aware of his new follower's existence.

dan wanted so badly to message him. he wanted to have at least one conversation with him. he wanted to get to know him. he wanted him to use some of his silly humour in conversing in attempts to make dan laugh, because that's the kind of person dan imagined him to be. he just wanted to just see what the process of actual conversation was like behind the cute, goofy pictures dan had analyzed throughout his profile.

but why would he bother even thinking about trying to talk to him? he knew that this boy couldn't have had time for someone as small as dan, as a result of his clear popularity.

locking his phone and slipping it back into his pocket, dan got up to got to the kitchen to pour himself a bowl of cereal, regardless of the fact that it was already 1 in the afternoon.  
-

when dan opened his phone again, he was welcomed by;

 _2:43pm; instagram: 12 unread direct messages from_ **_abyssofchris_ **

**abyssofchris** : dan

 **abyssofchris** : hey

 **abyssofchris** : can i come over

 **abyssofchris** : i'm coming over

 **abyssofchris** : i know your mum and dad aren't home

 **abyssofchris** : so i'm brining alcohol

 **abyssofchris** : dan

 **abyssofchris** : dAN

 **abyssofchris** : okay whatever i'm omw

 **abyssofchris** : loser

 **abyssofchris** : i'm literally walking over right now

 **abyssofchris** : i'll be there in like two seconds stupid

dan opened his instagram app to reply to chris, but was distracted once he saw that  _@phh.ily_ had added to his story. the feeling of spontaneous comfort and excitement washed over him for the second time as he saw the account's icon. he eagerly tapped on his story;

     

dan felt his heart skip a beat as he admired the silly expression displayed on the cute- yet still not quite familiar- boy's face.

he  _really_  wanted to talk to him.

submitting a question for him might open the door for a possible conversation.

but it could also open the door for him rethinking following dan.

he went back and forth internally debating on whether or not he'd ask a question when he finally decided that he wouldn't. he concluded that it was better to play it safe than to risk the mutual following that they now had. he mumbled a "maybe later," to himself as he locked his phone once again, but then jumped nearly to the ceiling as he was shaken out of his thoughts by the loud and abrupt sound of the doorbell.

_ding-dong_

_ding-dong_

_ding-dong_

dan quickly made his way down the hallway to the door. once there, he opened it in a harsh manner. "for fucks sake, christopher."

chris was leaning against the porch railing, holding a large paper bag. his dark brown hair in it's usual state of mess, and his big green eyes meeting dan's quickly upon exposure. "finally." he pushed past dan and let himself into the house.

dan rolled his eyes and let out a small laugh. "what do you mean ' _finally_ '?"

chris went into the living room, ignoring the question. he pulled out a full, unopened bottle of vodka out of the paper bag and set in onto the coffee table. "i haven't had a drink in ages."

dan sat himself back on the sofa. "are you serious?"

"yep."

"we're not getting shitfaced this time."

"okay dad,"

"don't sarcastically call me  _dad_ , would you ever be this casual with your dad about drinking and getting fully drunk?"

chris rolled his eyes, "have you got any coke or anything?"

-  
_5:03am; two new instagram notifications._

dan groaned as he sat himself up. he looked around and realized that he had fallen asleep on the floor. "fuck," he mumbled, putting his hand to his pounding head.

he had not followed through with his plan to not get heavily intoxicated. he and chris both had gotten utterly drunk yesterday throughout last night.

he let out a small laugh once he saw that chris had fallen asleep on the sofa, hugging a pillow, while his mouth was wide open. and he was snoring- loud.

dan got up to fetch a glass of water and painkillers from the higher cabinet in the kitchen, grabbing his phone as he did so.

in the lounge, he heard chris grumbling. "dan?"

"kitchen."

chris groggily made his way to dan. "you woke me up."

dan handed chris two painkillers, "how? i woke up only a few minutes before you."

chris groaned. "no talk. head. hurts." he got himself a glass of water and took the tablets. dan did the same and checked the two notifications he had initially woken up to;

[@phh.ily liked your post]  
[@phh.ily commented on your post: 'haha (;']

in a state of confusion, dan tapped on the post that the new mutual had recently liked and commented on and was greeted with an instant feeling of dread at the pit of his stomach;

"jesus christ," he didn't look up from his phone.

chris turned to face dan. "what?"

dan showed him his screen. "did i post this while i was drunk?"

it took chris a minute, but when we finally responded his entire face turned pink. "oh shit," he put his hand to his face. "actually i think i may have had something to do with that."

dan said nothing, only meeting his eyes with chris's as we waited for an explanation.

"i think i maybe took your phone last night and posted that maybe while we were drinking i think- but to be fair you are the one who took that picture and still had it on your phone- and we were both drunk i-"

"ughhhhh chris," dan put his focus back on his phone, trying to figure out how to delete the picture. "this is so embarrassing."

"i know, i know! i'm sorry. i don't even remember how i got your phone or anything and i don't remember why i-"

"just-" dan started, obviously frustrated. "don't worry."

-

after chris left, dan was still trying to delete the embarrassing photo of himself from his instagram.

he didn't know how to feel about his new follower seeing the picture, but he was pretty sure he was mortified.

now he was definitely not going to be able to talk to him.

once he finally managed to delete the picture, a gigantic wave of relief washed over him. he laughed to himself a bit, and then a lot.

it was a stupid, silly picture. chris had dared him to take it a while back, and he never deleted it. so- it  _was_  mostly dan's fault. for keeping it on his phone, and for taking the dare in the first place. 

dan scoffed to himself, "stupid."

_ping_

dan's phone lit up.

 _instagram; direct message from @phh.ily;_  
'why'd you delete it? (;'


	2. Chapter 2

**phh.ily** : why'd you delete it? (;

 **danielhowell** : haha delete what?

 **phh.ily** : the picture!!

 **phh.ily** : of you.. with your furry friends

 **danielhowell** : oh

 **danielhowell** : it's a long story?

 **phh.ily** : i have time

 **danielhowell** : what's your name?

 **phh.ily** : phil

 **phh.ily** : like it says on my profile (;

 **danielhowell** : oh right heh

 **phh.ily** : sooo

 **phh.ily** : still waiting for my explanation

 **danielhowell** : i told u!!

 **danielhowell** : long story

 **phh.ily** : and i told you that i have time!!

 **danielhowell** : ok

 **danielhowell** : basically. my friend and i were drinking and we got a little tipsy and he took my phone and posted that picture onto my account. i didn't post it myself and i didn't want to but i deleted it soo

 **danielhowell** : it's okay now  
 _*seen*_

 **danielhowell** : yikes

 **phh.ily** : wowie, didn't peg you for a party animal

 **danielhowell** : haha hardly.

 **phh.ily** : i meann

 **danielhowell** : seriously!! these things don't usually happen

 **danielhowell** : but

 **danielhowell** : i'm sorry you had to see that /:

 **phh.ily** : i'm not (;


	3. Chapter 3

_3:07pm_

**danielhowell** : maybe i'll put it back up for u (;

 **phh.ily** : please do ((;

 **danielhowell** : nah

 **danielhowell** : it's actually so embarrassing

 **phh.ily** : well

 **phh.ily** : then you owe me a new picture of you

 **danielhowell** : i do ??

 **phh.ily** : yes

 **danielhowell** : elaborate .-.

 **phh.ily** : i liked that picture and you deleted it!!

 **phh.ily** : therefore, as a follower, you owe me a replacement piece of 'danielhowell' content

 **danielhowell** : hmmmm

 **danielhowell** : maybee

 **danielhowell** : only if you send one back

 **phh.ily** : you drive a hard bargain

 **phh.ily** : but i'm up for it

 **danielhowell** : [:

_*danielhowell sent a picture*_

**phh.ily** : bad quality ):<<

 **phh.ily** : but still unbelievably cute, thnks

 **danielhowell** : (:your turn

_*phh.ily sent a picture*_

     

 **danielhowell** : fierce

 **phh.ily** : always

 **danielhowell** : do you wear contacts

 **phh.ily** : yeah? how'd you know?

 **danielhowell** : the colour of your eyes

 **danielhowell** : they're so bright

 **phh.ily** : oh, no i don't wear coloured contacts

 **phh.ily** : just clear

 **danielhowell** : so that's your natural eye colour?

 **phh.ily** : yes yes

 **phh.ily** : is that bad?

 **danielhowell** : no!! not at all

 **danielhowell** : you have very pretty eyes

 **phh.ily** : why thank you(:

 **phh.ily** : i like your eyes too

 **danielhowell** : mine are boring

 **danielhowell** : boring puddles of mud

 **phh.ily** : no!!

 **phh.ily** : your eyes suit you so well

 **phh.ily** : they look like mugs filled with hot chocolate

 **danielhowell** : oh??

 **phh.ily** : have you ever had a hot chocolate on a cold night?

 **phh.ily** : it fills you with the warmth of a blanket being wrapped around you and makes you feel instantly comfortable

 **phh.ily** : your eyes = hot chocolate nights

 **danielhowell** : that's so sweet

 **danielhowell** : i'm probably super red rn

 **phh.ily** : aw (;

 **phh.ily** : i'd love to see that tbh

 **danielhowell** : nO


	4. Chapter 4

\- -  
 _6_ _:38pm_

 **danielhowell** : i just feel shittyyy

 **phh.ily** : why?

 **danielhowell** : hungover

 **phh.ily** : oh i'm sorry):

 **danielhowell** : it's okie

 **danielhowell** : mostly i'm just super tired

 **phh.ily** : yeah /:

 **phh.ily** : you're probably just tired from being so cute. looks like hard work

 **danielhowell** : stOP

 **phh.ily** : stop whatttt (;;

 **danielhowell** : u know what

 **phh.ily** : noo

 **phh.ily** : enlighten me

 **danielhowell** : flirting !!

 **phh.ily** : never

 **danielhowell** : .....

 **danielhowell** : i guess since i can't stop you

 **danielhowell** : okay

 **phh.ily** : you love it

 **danielhowell** : a little

 **danielhowell** : but why are you flirting with me?

 **danielhowell** : you only just followed me

 **phh.ily** : because LOOK at you

 **phh.ily** : do you want me to stop?

 **danielhowell** : i don't think so

 **phh.ily** : good because i probably wasn't going to

 **danielhowell** : -_-

 **danielhowell** : you have a lot of followers tho

 **danielhowell** : like why me out of all people

 **phh.ily** : i already said

 **phh.ily** : LOOK at you

 **phh.ily** : i think you're pretty

 **phh.ily** : and i think you intrigue me

 **danielhowell** : i think you're prettiest and most intriguing

 **phh.ily** : see you can't get bothered when i flirt with you when you just throw it right back to me

 **danielhowell** : u got me there

 **danielhowell** : (;


	5. Chapter 5

\- -  
 _10:43am_

_*phh.ily sent a picture*_

     

 **danielhowell** : did that say

 **danielhowell** : 'cajun squirrel'?

 **phh.ily** : yep

 **phh.ily** : cajun squirrel flavoured crisps

 **danielhowell** : wtf

 **danielhowell** : how do they taste?

 **phh.ily** : i'm too scared to try them i don't know

 **danielhowell** : do it do it do it

 **phh.ily** : i don't want to eat squirrels!!

 **danielhowell** : i mean i doubt the crisps were made with real squirrels

 **phh.ily** : /:

 **phh.ily** : but think about it

 **phh.ily** : how would someone know what squirrel tasted like if they hadn't actually eaten it?

 **phh.ily** : so by eating these i'm supporting people killing squirrels to eat them

 **danielhowell** : but technically you buying them is support enough

 **danielhowell** : SOOO  
 _*seen*_

 **danielhowell** : phil  
 _*seen*_

 **danielhowell** : did you die

 **phh.ily** : yes

 **phh.ily** : the crisps aren't terrible?

 **phh.ily** : i really wanted to hate them

 **phh.ily** : i am a terrible person

 **danielhowell** : pls phil

 **danielhowell** : they're just crisps

 **phh.ily** : no they're n ot

 **danielhowell** : ye s they a r e

 **phh.ily** : nope

 **phh.ily** : phil is a bad boy now

 **phh.ily** : phil eats squirrels

 **danielhowell** : bad boy philly (;

 **phh.ily** : look out world here comes this bad boy

 **danielhowell** : ooooooh

 **danielhowell** : i'm excited


	6. Chapter 6

_1:38pm_

**danielhowell** : phil

 **phh.ily** : dan

 **danielhowell** : phil

 **phh.ily** : dan

 **phh.ily** : what's up

 **danielhowell** : you're pretty

 **phh.ily** : youuu're pretty baby(,:


	7. Chapter 7

\- -  
 _4:03pm_

 **phh.ily** : i'm having a bad day

 **danielhowell** : noo why?):

 **phh.ily** : lots

 **phh.ily** : can you send a picture?

 **danielhowell** : of me?

 **phh.ily** : yeah

 **phh.ily** : it'll make me happy  
 _*seen*_

_*danielhowell sent a p_ _icture_ _*_

     

 **phh.ily** : ugh adorable

 **phh.ily** : i feel 10x better thank u

 **danielhowell** : glad i could help((:

 **danielhowell** : i'm a bit ill though so sorry i look kinda rough

 **phh.ily** : what u talking about

 **phh.ily** : you're the cutest human alive

 **danielhowell** : no

 **danielhowell** : that spot is taken by you

 **phh.ily** : you flirting? (;

 **danielhowell** : nooo  
 _*seen*_

 **danielhowell** : maybe  
 _*seen*_

 **danielhowell** : yes


	8. Chapter 8

\- -  
 _11:33pm_

 **danielhowell** : why is it so lateee

 **phh.ily** : because it's bedtime

 **danielhowell** : sure but i thought it was way earlier

 **danielhowell** : i haven't done anything today

 **danielhowell** : actually i texted you and that's all

 **phh.ily** : hey that's something(:

 **danielhowell** : not something productiveeee

 **phh.ily** : ):

 **phh.ily** : ok):

 **danielhowell** : nooo i mean like

 **danielhowell** : i should be cleaning or getting groceries or something like that

 **phh.ily** : adult things

 **danielhowell** : yeah/:

 **phh.ily** : well don't worry about it

 **phh.ily** : you can be productive tomorrow. right now you should be getting rest

 **danielhowell** : only if you tell me a bedtime story

 **phh.ily** : okay give me a second

 **danielhowell** : (:

 **phh.ily** : once upon a time

 **phh.ily** : a boy named @ danielhowell

 **phh.ily** : came into the life of a lonely boy named phil

 **phh.ily** : after only three days of texting, phil felt like they'd known each other for years

 **phh.ily** : because @ danielhowell made his heart do a flippy over thing every single time he replied to phil

 **phh.ily** : or when he sent him pictures of his face

 **phh.ily** : um

 **phh.ily** : the end?

 **danielhowell** : surely that isn't the end

 **phh.ily** : i guess not. but i can't really tell you the rest of the story if i don't know it yet

 **phh.ily** : there could be a million different things to happen after that

 **danielhowell** : but i only want one thing to happen after

 **phh.ily** : what would that be?  
 _*seen*_

 **phh.ily** : dan?

 **danielhowell** : goodnight phil

 **danielhowell** : <3


	9. Chapter 9

_3:05am_

**danielhowell** : i'm awake

 **danielhowell** : i know you're probably sleeping

 **danielhowell** : i was asleep after i said goodnight to you, but now i'm awake

 **danielhowell** : anyway i was thinking

 **danielhowell** : i want to meet you

 **danielhowell** : even if it was just for a little bit?

 **danielhowell** : ah i'm going to try to go back to sleep now

 **danielhowell** : i hope i dream about you


	10. Chapter 10

_11:02am_

**phh.ily** : let's do it

 **danielhowell** : what?

 **phh.ily** : meet


	11. Chapter 11

_1:05pm_

**danielhowell** : when? (:

 **danielhowell** : phillll

 **danielhowell** : phillaaay

 **danielhowell** : philly boy


	12. Chapter 12

_6:04pm_

**danielhowell** : philll

 **danielhowell** : it's been all dayyyyyy

 **danielhowell** : i miss youuuu

 **danielhowell** : ))):


	13. Chapter 13

_9:37pm_

**phh.ily** : san

 **phh.ily** : wen out with friends srory

 **danielhowell** : are u okay?

 **phh.ily** : peahc y

 **phh.ily** : lil tipsy

 **danielhowell** : oooh

 **phh.ily** : missed u

 **danielhowell** : i missed you lots

 **danielhowell** : day drinking?

 **phh.ily** : oopy

 **danielhowell** : hmm

 **danielhowell** : maybe you should get some rest

 **phh.ily** : noooio

 **phh.ily** : wanma talk to u baby

 **danielhowell** : ur drunkk

 **phh.ily** : ur sexyyy

 **danielhowell** : phiL

 **danielhowell** : go to bed

 **phh.ily** : okay

 **phh.ily** : love yu

 _*danielhowell is typing*_  
 **danielhowell** : love u more


	14. Chapter 14

_8:01am_

**phh.ily** : ughhh

 **phh.ily** : hungoverrrr

 **danielhowell** : haha

 **phh.ily** : heyyy it's not funny

 **danielhowell** : yes it is

 **danielhowell** : that's what u get for not talking to me all day yesterday and instead getting krunk

 **phh.ily** : i'm sorryyy

 **danielhowell** : nah

 **danielhowell** : i was lonely af ):<

 **phh.ily** : dannnn  
 _*seen*_

 **phh.ily** : daNnN  
 _*seen*_

 **phh.ily** : dan babyy  
 _*seen*_


	15. Chapter 15

_8:32am_

_*phh.ily is video calling danielhowell*_

"hey!" phil self consciously stared at himself in the video chat, as there was nothing else to look at— dan's camera wasn't on. "turn it onnn."

there was a pause in the audio coming from the other side of the call. finally, there was a soft "nooo."

"but how do i know you aren't catfishing me?" phil smiled and tilted his head at his phone, knowing dan was looking.

"i don't know," the other voice was still hesitant and quiet. "i just look bad right now."

phil scoffed. "i'd bet you a thousand pounds that you do not look bad."

dan, on the other side of the call, hiding behind a turned off camera, bit his lip as heat rose to his cheeks. "i do though," he stated.

the call was sudden and unexpected, so he didn't know if he had looked as presentable as he wanted to look for his first call with phil.

however he couldn't stop staring at his screen. phil's blue eyes looked so vibrant in his lighting. and his features looked so perfectly defined, placing a remarkable balance throughout the entirety of his face.

"okay, but you're the one complaining about me not talking to you." phil laughed a little. he was nervous. he couldn't tell how dan was responding to everything. he worried that dan had found phil's appearance less appealing while it wasn't in still photos, or that he didn't want to talk to him because he didn't find him interesting- or maybe he thought that he was just weird.

this worry was in part due to phil not being able to see dan's facial expressions, and the fact that dan's tone within his responses was quiet and unclear- as if he was contemplating what he thought of phil.

phil could faintly hear dan laugh through his nose. "well maybe this is part of your punishment,"

"that's a bit-" phil stopped himself, suppressing a laugh. "never mind."

then a sudden silence. phil darted his eyes around his room, trying to look for something to become the subject of a potential conversation.

dan took a deep breath, still admiring phil's appearance through the screen, knowing fully how awkward he was making the situation- he just couldn't bring himself to say anything to phil. his throat burned, and his tongue felt heavy. phil's complete entity left dan literally speechless.

then phil cleared his throat, breaking dan out of his thoughts. "so um," his voice cracked a small amount. "what did the duck say to the bartender?"

dan couldn't help but giggle at phil's awkward attempt at breaking the silence with a corny joke. "did he say, 'put it on my bill'?"

phil laughed, his tongue poking out of the break between his top and bottom row of teeth. "yeah, he did. how'd you know?"

dan laughed again. "everyone knows that joke."

phil's heart felt at ease hearing dan's laugh through the call. he was relieved knowing that dan was comfortable enough to laugh at phil's lame attempt at a joke.

"okay i have one," dan started. "why can't ghosts have babies?"

phil sat in silence, a thoughtful look displayed on his face, eyes scanning his surrounding as he racked his brain for an answer. dan could nearly see his wheels turning.

"because they're ghosts and they don't have working reproductive systems."

"close," dan smiled, admiring phil's serious attempt at figuring it out. "it's because they have halloweenies."

after a couple of beats, phil bursted out laughing. shortly after, so did dan.

"it's not.. even.. that funny." phil said between outputs of laughter.

after about five minutes later, they both had finally stopped laughing.

then dan heard a car door outside of his house. he sat up to look out of his window. "oh- i think i hear my friend. he's supposed to be coming over today- yeah, he's here."

"oh," phil breathed out. "sorry, if i had known i wouldn't have called you so suddenly."

"no! it's okay, this was nice. we should do it again sometime."

phil smiled. "yeah?"

dan smiled too. "yeah."

"hey wait!"

dan jumped.

"before you go, please can you turn your camera on for just like two seconds?"

dan was silent as he contemplated.

"pleaseee, i want to see your cute face."

he sighed. "alright."

he skeptically brought his hand to the camera icon.

and with that, dan ended the call.


	16. Chapter 16

_10:42am_

**phh.ily** : you're pretty

 **phh.ily** : i love your voice

 **danielhowell** : i love yours

 **danielhowell** : i could listen to it for forever

 **phh.ily** : <3

 **phh.ily** : it was a cute way to start my day

 **phh.ily** : so thank you(,:

 **danielhowell** : thank YOU

 **danielhowell** : i couldn't really get a lot of words out i'm sorry

 **phh.ily** : why baby?

 **danielhowell** : you're so beautiful phil

 **danielhowell** : it's like intimidating

 **phh.ily** : oh??

 **danielhowell** : you're perfect

 **phh.ily** : says you

 **phh.ily** : your eyes. your dimples. your SMILE.

 **phh.ily** : you're so adorable

 **phh.ily** : you're absolutely stunning

 **danielhowell** : aaah phil

 **danielhowell** : <3

 **phh.ily** : <3


	17. Chapter 17

\- -  
 _11:38am_

 **danielhowell** : i'm hungry

 **phh.ily** : i'm hungry too

 **danielhowell** : what are u hungry for?

 **phh.ily** : (((;

 **danielhowell** : oh?? (;

 **phh.ily** : pancakes

 **danielhowell** : oh

 **phh.ily** : hahaha

 **phh.ily** : i'm hungry for something else too though

 **danielhowell** : what would that be ??

 **phh.ily** : (;

 **phh.ily** : you

 **danielhowell** : ((;

 **danielhowell** : come here then

 **phh.ily** : omw baby boy

 **danielhowell** : hdjdjs

 **phh.ily** : umm

 **danielhowell** : if you call me that again prepare for me to completely melt

 **phh.ily** : in a... good way?

 **danielhowell** : YES

 **phh.ily** : ......

 **phh.ily** : baby boy

 **danielhowell** : yes dd

 **danielhowell** : choke me pls

 **danielhowell** : i mean what


	18. Chapter 18

\- -  
_3:09pm_

 _*_ _danielhowell_ _sent a p_ _icture_ _*_

     

 ***** ** _phh.ily_** _:_ ↸ _screenshot*_

 **phh.ily** : YOU'RE SO BEAUTIFUL

 **phh.ily** : HOT

 **phh.ily** : dan? more like DAmN

 **danielhowell** : philllll

 **danielhowell** : (,:

 **danielhowell** : did you screenshot that?

 **phh.ily** : yes i did

 **danielhowell** : whhhhyyyy

 **phh.ily** : i already said

 **phh.ily** : you're

 **phh.ily** : beautiful

 **danielhowell** : well

 **danielhowell** : then i want to screenshot you

 **phh.ily** : you will(;

 **danielhowell** : nowww

 **phh.ily** : be patient babyy

 **danielhowell** : .-.

 **danielhowell** : okay

 **danielhowell** : but only because you called me baby


	19. Chapter 19

_5:05pm_

**danielhowell** : hello love [:  
 _*seen*_


	20. Chapter 20

_5:32pm_

**danielhowell** : what are you doing?  
 _*seen*_


	21. Chapter 21

_6:22pm_

**danielhowell** : phil?  
 _*seen*_

 **danielhowell** : are you okay?  
 _*seen*_

**_*phh.ily_ ** _: typing*_

-


	22. Chapter 22

_6:59pm_

**danielhowell** : i'm here if you need me  
 _*seen*_


	23. Chapter 23

_10:41pm_

**danielhowell** : goodnight phil


	24. Chapter 24

\- - -  
 _4:03am; no new notifications_

dan's chest ached.

he felt as if phil had stopped watering the tulips that he had once planted in his lungs. he felt is heart sinking lower each day- drowning in the long, dying roots of the tulips.

his mind was on fire. his thoughts burning a hole in his brain as they intensified with each of the 74 days that phil had ignored him.

often, dan did think he was overreacting as he hadn't known phil for that long, and he hadn't known him very well. eventually though, at the end of each day he knew he was right to be hurt. phil spent time talking to dan. he talked with him even after dan would say something stupid and sarcastic. he talked to him after he saw dan's awkward face, and heard his high, posh voice. he complimented him. he made him feel like he was  _something_  to someone, breaking him out of his constant state of purposelessness.

phil was uncommonly special.

and dan had fallen undoubtedly in love with him. he didn't want to accept it though, because accepting it would mean longing— hopeless longing. which would only result in more hurt.

so he ignored his want for phil. he ignored his desire for phil to look directly into dan's boring, dirt balls for eyes with his complex, watercolour blue ones. he ignored his desire for phil to gently cup dan's face in his hands, ultimately making contact with his perfect, forever glistening skin. he ignored his desire for phil to kiss dan's cracked lips with his softer, subtlety blushed lips.

he just made dan feel different. he couldn't help but feel the rotting away of every piece of his heart with every passing thought of phil.

dan shook his head, trying to convince his mind that he had barely known the boy he was so stuck on, and that he'd encounter other— better people.

but he couldn't.


	25. Chapter 25

**_tw/ death_ ** **_ & grieving_ **

\- - -

_4:03am_

phil's chest ached.

his mind was going a mile a minute. he couldn't help but remember and visualize warm scenes of himself and charlie.

though it had been a good two years since they last spoke, it still had such a powerful impact on phil that charlie was  _gone_. he was  _dead_.

he looked at the folded obituary that he held in his hands. he felt as if his and charlie's eye were meeting again when he looked at the smiling picture of him on the cover— he felt guilty. he felt guilty because he now remembered the argument, and he remembered the tears, and the raw  _hurt_. he remembered the words that were said and the intensity of it all.

he still had trouble comprehending it, even after nearly three months. he pleaded his mind to let go of the bad memories with him— more specifically, the insults phil had hurled at charlie in his defense after he saw him with another man.

in this moment he felt guilty about how angry he was at charlie for such a big portion of his life. he remembered how he felt his heart fall to the pit of his stomach and start to fragment. he remembered how he blamed that hurt on charlie. he remembered how he ignored charlie's attempts to fix what he had done— because phil felt as if it couldn't be fixed. ever.

now he shook his head. he was so full of regret.

at the very bottom of his mind, he knew he shouldn't feel bad for what he was once feeling towards his ex boyfriend right after he caught him with someone else. he knew he couldn't have done anything about charlie's death, and that he was being too hard on himself. but most of his mind was filled with these difficult memories that resulted in guilt-ridden thoughts.

in the gaps between these thoughts though, he thought about dan. he felt awful for ghosting dan as badly as he did after he heard the news. he could've at least told dan that he was dealing with something— but he didn't. he just completely stopped talking to him. and now it's been almost three months.

the mere idea of the pressure of having to explain everything again to someone was too heavy on phil. he wanted to let dan in, but he'd have to go into depth on all of what has happened over these few months, and relive it all. on top of that, he felt as if saying it all would make it feel so much more real— which he did not want.

so he kept it all in.

he did want to talk though. he just wanted to have a conversation with someone about  _something_.  _anything_ , really— just not what he had been going through.

and he did miss dan. he missed him so much. he missed his sarcastic comments and his playful teasing at phil when he was being stupid. he missed his gentle voice and the pictures he'd send of his face that phil just absolutely adored.

dan was different to other people in his life, too. in actuality, phil didn't have a lot of friends. he didn't have a lot of people in his day-to-day life to talk to. so when dan responded to him, it was such a refreshing relief.

he just wanted to go back to the endearing exchanges and the cutesy pictures they'd send each other. he didn't want the focus to be on himself and his issues and he didn't want dan to treat him differently.

he just wanted to talk to him.

he sighed and reached for his cold phone on the nightstand next to his bed.

hesitantly, he decided that for the first time in 74 days, he would turn on his phone and talk to him.


	26. Chapter 26

_4:47am_

dan felt his whole body jerk when his phone let out a sequence of alarming noises.

he sat up only a little in his bed, and rubbed his eyes. he'd only been asleep for about twenty minutes before his phone started ringing.

he groaned and reached for his phone, planning to decline the call and turn his phone off— until he actually read the notification;

_4:48am; instagram: incoming video call from phh.ily_

dan could nearly see his heart about to burst out of his chest. suddenly he was wide awake— he felt as though someone had just dumped a bucket of cold water over his head.

his hands fumbled around in the process of trying to answer phil's call.

right after he accepted, he realized that he hadn't actually comprehended any part of the fact that  _phil_  was  _calling_  him  _right now_ , at  _4:48 in the morning_ , after almost  _three months_ of absolutely  _no_  mutual contact. he didn't know why phil was calling him, or what dan was going to say to him. he didn't know how he was going to approach conversing with phil again. was he going to be obviously upset? or was he just going to act like everything was okay?

it was too late to come to any conclusions, because the video call was connecting as soon as these thoughts had finished passing through his mind.

then suddenly— like a sudden movement of clouds to reveal the sun throughout the dull sky— none of his worry mattered, because as soon as phil had appeared, he felt the familiar feeling of warmth and utter  _love_.

"dan. um- hi."


End file.
